June 15, 2009
Well today I have been excited about reaching a kid who is a quadriplegic that has been doing some treatments in Peurto Rico. I am going to be doing some research then I will let you know more about it. …So hopefully soon I will be asking for financial support to get better instead of equipment to adapt to living paralyzed.
Hope. That has been such an emotional word and thought for me over the last six months. I want to have a “normal” functioning body so bad that it hurts! Heck, I am totally jealous of parapaplegics and amputees. I have had some great gains since ICU. …But I have reached the top of what most people experience after a complete spinal cord injury in the lower neck. I feel so sad and it makes me feel more handicap when I really get into the thought of being able to walk (healing). Will I let people down if I don’t make it all the way? What about my kids? I found my son sobbing, laying in my room last week because he wants his daddy to stand again. The sad part is that he would not tell me because he did not want me to feel bad about his sadness. He finally expressed it to his mom. Sure I won’t be let down if I don’t hope. But what would be the ultimate price if I lose hope.
Last week I had my second opinion from orthopedic surgeon about the bone tumor in both of my hips that prevents me from bending far enough forward to become more independent. They said they would do it if I wanted to and that insurance had ok’d it. I am not sure what to do about it now that I heard about this treatment in Peurto Rico. I need the bone to be removed if I plan to walk. But the bone has a greater chance of growing back without proper nerve flow. I am calling the Dr. in Peurto Rico tomorrow.
This past weekend Joelle and I went to the coast with three other couples. We had a lot of fun. I went hot tubing. I pushed around the beach on a borrowed all terrain manual wheelchair with the husbands while they did some clam digging. Took some beautiful pictures of my beautiful wife on the beach.
Last week I took my blood pressure while I was working out at home. It was so low a few times that the machine read error but I did get a few readings around 60/40. (“normal” is 120/80) I think most of you would be passed out at that. No wonder my muscles hurt so bad when I start working out, they are not getting any oxygen.
Love and Light,
Jason
